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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39747) - you deserved it (4287)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39485) - you deserved it (14894)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39228) - you deserved it (5656)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (8593)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39006) - you deserved it (40181)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (22217)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (7455)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (8145)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38527) - you deserved it (3436)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (18122)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML

#20605914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37801) - you deserved it (2995)

On 04/19/2013 at 8:16pm - work - by unemployed (woman) - El Salvador (San Salvador)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (3775)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the first funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finished, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank you for coming." I instictively replied, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37557) - you deserved it (17181)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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