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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (3711)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (7694)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

#20592535
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (5067)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40840) - you deserved it (18707)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (42321)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40634) - you deserved it (8444)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (22732)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (5723)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39851) - you deserved it (3966)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (4047)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (4420)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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