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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

FOR THE FRST TIME, I TOLD MY GRLFRIEND OF TWO MONTHS THAT I LOVE HER. SHE BROKE DOWN IN LAUGHTER AN MOCKINGLY ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF QUEER?" I COULD'VE SWORN SHE WAS MENTALLY OLDER THAN A 5-YEAR-OLD WHEN I ASKED HER OUT. I GUESS NOT. FML

#20586776
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (11341)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

YESTERDAY I REALIZD HOW TINY MY APARTMENT IS, WHEN I WAS ABLE TO VACUUM FROM BEDROOM TO BATHROOM THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WITHOUT SWITCHING THE POWER OUTLET FROM THE ONE IN THE KITCHEN. I PAY A FORTUNE TO LIVE IN THIS SHOEBOX. MEGA FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41686) - you deserved it (9404)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

TODAY , I CAME HOME FROM A FOUR MONTH STAY IN AFRICA,HERE I MANAGD TO AVOID SUFFERING ANY SERIOUS ILLNESS. SOME HOURS AFTER MAH FIRST MEAL BACK AT HOME , I GOT FOOD POISONING. FAT FML

#20608123
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (3433)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, fir the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up fir his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (5740)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today...hile walking to mah car after work... I witnessd some moronho was textinghile riding her bike running right into mah parkd car... resulting in a broken side mrror... a damagd windshield... two dents... an 4 her... a broken phone an nose. She's threatening to sue me 4 damages.

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41335) - you deserved it (2198)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , it transpred that mah mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me , going so far as to call one of her finds , "good breeding stock" . Apparently , I don't already looool have enough criminals in mah life; last September I was the only member of mah family of 5 not locked up . FML

Today after weeks of insomnia I fell asleep. This would have been great if mah brother didn't wake me up at 3am screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded fir thumping him and have to do all his choreshile sleep deprived. big fat FML

#20592535
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40961) - you deserved it (5058)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:32am - misc - by do your own ironing (woman) -

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. fat FML

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his grlfriend eyed me up . I made a shocked face at him and kept walking . The next thing I knew, his grlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in life . FML

#20581007
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (4345)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, I Was The Victim Of A Drive-by Egging By Some Bastard Riding A Segway. He Still Got Away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8767)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend twice. Apparently the first time she thought I was kidding. FML

#20602951
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (6645)

On 04/18/2013 at 6:47pm - love - by RaveCharlie - United States

Today, I cummed home from work to find mah son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of mah pars of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (19374)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)



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