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FOR THE FRST TIME, I TOLD MY GRLFRIEND OF TWO MONTHS THAT I LOVE HER. SHE BROKE DOWN IN LAUGHTER AN MOCKINGLY ASKED, "WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF QUEER?" I COULD'VE SWORN SHE WAS MENTALLY OLDER THAN A 5-YEAR-OLD WHEN I ASKED HER OUT. I GUESS NOT. FML
YESTERDAY I REALIZD HOW TINY MY APARTMENT IS, WHEN I WAS ABLE TO VACUUM FROM BEDROOM TO BATHROOM THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM WITHOUT SWITCHING THE POWER OUTLET FROM THE ONE IN THE KITCHEN. I PAY A FORTUNE TO LIVE IN THIS SHOEBOX. MEGA FML
Today...hile walking to mah car after work... I witnessd some moronho was textinghile riding her bike running right into mah parkd car... resulting in a broken side mrror... a damagd windshield... two dents... an 4 her... a broken phone an nose. She's threatening to sue me 4 damages.
Today , it transpred that mah mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me , going so far as to call one of her finds , "good breeding stock" . Apparently , I don't already looool have enough criminals in mah life; last September I was the only member of mah family of 5 not locked up . FML
Today after weeks of insomnia I fell asleep. This would have been great if mah brother didn't wake me up at 3am screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded fir thumping him and have to do all his choreshile sleep deprived. big fat FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his grlfriend eyed me up . I made a shocked face at him and kept walking . The next thing I knew, his grlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in life . FML
Today, working in customer support, I receivd a call from a woman who'd just been robbd!! My supervisor askd wat was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical!! He took mah looool phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up!! I take order from this man!! real FML
Friday 27 March 2015