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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45892) - you deserved it (4270)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45749) - you deserved it (13195)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45536) - you deserved it (7686)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45536) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45535) - you deserved it (7105)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45329) - you deserved it (13738) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (6670)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45199) - you deserved it (11384)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45123) - you deserved it (9819)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States

Today, I came home from a four month stay in Africa, where I managed to avoid suffering any serious illness. Some hours after my first meal back at home, I got food poisoning. FML

#20608123
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/20/2013 at 5:17pm - misc - by unlucky - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (4108)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, my 25 year old brother dumped all my underwear into the fireplace for interrupting him while he was playing WoW. FML

#20593993
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44567) - you deserved it (11992)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

#20586776
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44564) - you deserved it (11889)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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