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Saturday 13 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46523) - you deserved it (6194)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46059) - you deserved it (9396)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (6594)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45888) - you deserved it (5476)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45793) - you deserved it (19247) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45788) - you deserved it (7084)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45688) - you deserved it (4511)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at my little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet, and in the middle of her solo, her phone started ringing. She decided to stop, check her phone, and continue playing. FML

#20602988
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45240) - you deserved it (13419)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45136) - you deserved it (4206)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45086) - you deserved it (4481)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44957) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44690) - you deserved it (7022)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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