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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39013) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

#20585168
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38963) - you deserved it (4924)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, for the first time, I told my girlfriend of two months that I love her. She broke down in laughter and mockingly asked, "What are you, some kind of queer?" I could've sworn she was mentally older than a 5-year-old when I asked her out. I guess not. FML

#20586776
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (10654)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38681) - you deserved it (12295)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38629) - you deserved it (18655)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (4739)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38048) - you deserved it (21846)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

#20594384
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37944) - you deserved it (2249)

On 04/15/2013 at 6:11pm - misc - by MyLifeSucks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37930) - you deserved it (7932)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (38768)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37485) - you deserved it (14254)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)



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