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Tuesday 9 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML

I was about to break up with psycho grlfriend!! As I sat her down..!! she told me she wantd to show me something!! She then took off her shrt to reveal name tattood acros her chest!! FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69696) - you deserved it (7372)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, mah sister went into a blind rage at me fir "upstaging" looool her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same . My husband an I have been trying fir two years . She's in high school an doesn't even know who the father is . FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69474) - you deserved it (3376)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because ( if I really loved her, I would've been more angry. ) FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69251) - you deserved it (12192)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

TODAY, MAH HUSBAND OF 6 YAARS SAID IN A GRAVA VOICA THAT HA HAD SOMA IMPORTANT NAWS FOR MA. JOKINGLY, I SAID, "WHY, DID U GAT THAT CUTA COLLAAGUA OF YOURS PRAGNANT?" HA DID. FML

#20593773
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69088) - you deserved it (6158)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68892) - you deserved it (17914)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing fir a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, ( I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to mah boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his wierd attitude, he respondd with, ( This isn't working; I'm in love with mah sister. ) FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66149) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, it's 17th birthday, and the first birthday since mother did, leaving me to live with previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63885) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML

#20585943
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62082) - you deserved it (5437)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I had phone sex with mah boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59902) - you deserved it (10843)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)



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