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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (11580)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33236) - you deserved it (2968)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33094) - you deserved it (8245)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

#20571924
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33094) - you deserved it (2300)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by effiestonem154 (woman) - United States

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33042) - you deserved it (11204)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33042) - you deserved it (3542)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32806) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (10594)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (3498)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (1812)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32280) - you deserved it (5746)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom started fundraising and selling things on ebay. At first I was happy because I thought she was finally going to help me pay my college tuition. Turns out she's planning on raising money to get our dog a new friend because she's "lonely". FML

#20583166
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (4574)

On 04/10/2013 at 2:54am - money - by Witos (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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