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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (6092)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (2570)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38456) - you deserved it (6750)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38455) - you deserved it (18158)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38337) - you deserved it (9214)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38317) - you deserved it (5886)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37982) - you deserved it (3792)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (6833)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37556) - you deserved it (3852)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37554) - you deserved it (3530)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37311) - you deserved it (4127)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (5001)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)



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