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Thursday 4 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (2557)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (13481)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (6744)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38369) - you deserved it (18141)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (9205)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38245) - you deserved it (5878)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (3788)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (6821)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

#20584117
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37466) - you deserved it (3523)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37214) - you deserved it (3127)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37142) - you deserved it (4111)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37069) - you deserved it (2626)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (4106)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)



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