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Tuesday 2 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was chatting online with a guy I really like, when he used the word "irregardless." I couldn't help but mention how little sense it makes, since it's a combination of two words meaning roughly the same thing. He replied, "lol what? your stupid." Jesus Christ. FML

#20576546
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33437) - you deserved it (9349)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by pot, meet kettle (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33002) - you deserved it (3216)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32919) - you deserved it (3887)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

#20573161
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (14163)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by nottoosmall - United States

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32700) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

#20571483
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32650) - you deserved it (3909)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML

#20574002
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (2388)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31856) - you deserved it (10027) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (5178)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, my girlfriend said that while she was playing volleyball, her whole life flashed before her eyes. According to her grandmother, my girlfriend is now psychic. She completely believes it. FML

#20574330
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (3270)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by CrazyBitch - United States (California)

Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML

#20577861
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (5415)

On 04/06/2013 at 5:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (11240)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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