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Sunday 31 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37091) - you deserved it (3659)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (2933)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36755) - you deserved it (3764)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36687) - you deserved it (10555)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML

#20565229
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (8418)

On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36376) - you deserved it (6316)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (4744)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (3488)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35765) - you deserved it (16020)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

#20569932
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (3791)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by CrimsonAmaryllis (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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