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Sunday 31 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (2996)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39641) - you deserved it (4383)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (2577)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (2620)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39288) - you deserved it (2604)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39217) - you deserved it (2791)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39165) - you deserved it (3397)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38624) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (6761)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38466) - you deserved it (3934)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (9663)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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