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Today , I brougt a girl ome from a bar. Ting were getting ot an eavy wen se askd if I ad a condom. I opend ma wallet to grab te one I keep in tere , only to fine te empty wrapper in its place; it was te only one I ad. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk tan I tougt. fat FML
Taday after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up mah iPhone in mah room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized mah phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML
Today , I nervously startd a new job , and mah co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss . Later , I accidentally bumpd into him , and blurtd "Rule #7 , don't touch George." He definitely heard . FML
Today, I was on te toilet,en I noticed looool I could see my daugter dancing in te oter room in te mrror, so I took a picture wit my pone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out tat I was visible in te picture, sitting on te toilet and smiling. fat FML
Today... I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I looool had orderd near mah seat. I immediately ran up to him and askd him to stop stealing mah food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Second later the attendant cummd out with mah actual food. FML
Friday 27 March 2015