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Sunday 24 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I went out to Applebees with a girl I like and a group of friends. Someone asked if the girl and I were dating. She instantly replied with a bit of disgust "What? No way, never!" It would have been nice to know before paying for the last ten or so dates we went on. FML

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39784) - you deserved it (16983)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39649) - you deserved it (8546) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, we started our 17 hour drive to Michigan for spring break. My mom decided to go to Target to buy some music CDs. All she bought was three Nicki Minaj CDs. She has already replayed the first CD four times. 14 hours to go. FML

#20551039
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (3584)

On 03/19/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by :( - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39128) - you deserved it (2598)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (6522)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38758) - you deserved it (6688)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (4125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38650) - you deserved it (4201)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38447) - you deserved it (2678)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38418) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)



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