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Saturday 23 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30272) - you deserved it (15466)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3124)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

#20555478
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30095) - you deserved it (6831)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cat learned the hard way what the bathtub is for. While I was in it. FML

#20560819
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (3440)

On 03/26/2013 at 10:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29562) - you deserved it (6898)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

#20555313
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29312) - you deserved it (1788)

On 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by sickness and health my sphincter (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (13720)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my girlfriend left me because our "political views don't match" when I told her we needed to share house chores now that we live together. I know, I'm lost too. FML

#20551507
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28968) - you deserved it (2359)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:08pm - love - by dca101 (man) - United States

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (3433)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

#20552364
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28786) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/20/2013 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28750) - you deserved it (3716)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (5257)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)



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