Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32559) - you deserved it (2856)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32549) - you deserved it (10972)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

#20555131
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (6984)

On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32505) - you deserved it (3752)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

#20549483
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32374) - you deserved it (6885)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm - health - by thisentiretime... - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

#20555821
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32293) - you deserved it (2699) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Lorraine)

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (5905)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

#20561443
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (3297)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work while near a cigarette tray outside, a man said, "Thanks for polluting our environment!" All I could say was, "What?" He then said "I'm speaking English you know!" I was cleaning the cigarette tray at the time, don't smoke at all, and was born here. FML

#20564434
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31908) - you deserved it (2391)

On 03/28/2013 at 8:57pm - work - by TVKill3r (man) - United States

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (15968)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML

#20552804
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (2458)

On 03/20/2013 at 9:11pm - misc - by cheeseburglar_9000 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

#20554757
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (3149)

On 03/22/2013 at 6:49am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31314) - you deserved it (5900)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: