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Thursday 21 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (1635)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (3526)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36017) - you deserved it (4548)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (21269)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (5289)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (5266)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (2893)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I found a purse in the school bathroom. When I looked inside, there was an iPod along with some other expensive stuff in it. I took it to the office so the right owner would get it back. The owner passed me in the hall on the way there; she freaked out and punched me in the face. FML

#20551761
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35437) - you deserved it (1725)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:55am - misc - by really? (woman) - United States

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

#20553379
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35414) - you deserved it (18406)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (3736)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35396) - you deserved it (9494)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (6006)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada



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