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Saturday 16 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

#20550859
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (2165)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by thirddegreeburned - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I spent an entire raffle game desperately praying that I'd lose miserably, just so I wouldn't have to go up on stage and accept it. FML

Today, it's my third night of finally living on my own in a house. I can't count the number of times I have run to my knife and pepper spray after hearing "suspicious" sounds. Maybe I'm not ready to be an adult after all. FML

#20550428
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24072) - you deserved it (6323)

On 03/19/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by nearly20yetasfearfulasatoddlerhavingnightmares (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (8049)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (3942)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (1794)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my 3 year old woke up at 2 am and refused to go back to sleep unless she could sleep with her father and me. Normally we would have said no, but both of us being so tired, we said yes. She slowly kicked me out of my side of the bed and now I have to sleep on the couch. FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

#20556604
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (35077)

On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (42104)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17093) - you deserved it (33628)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14720) - you deserved it (54431) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13948) - you deserved it (27736)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13585) - you deserved it (29470)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)



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