Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 9 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I exited McDonald's after a quick lunch, a man in a jogging outfit ran past, snatching my handbag right off my shoulder as he tore past. He must have been at least 50. I broke down utterly exhausted before I could chase him even a single block. I'm 24. FML

#20543184
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18244) - you deserved it (35475)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:52am - health - by jen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (60770) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16993) - you deserved it (54866)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16237) - you deserved it (40865)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16067) - you deserved it (26425)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into work, a day after losing my shit with our systems admin, due to her taking ages to enable my new email account. I was soon bitched out, warned, and suspended over several lewd emails having been sent overnight from my account to various female co-workers. FML

#20544551
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15369) - you deserved it (29828)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:35am - work - by benoit (man) - France

Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML

#20538296
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14929) - you deserved it (46636)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:54pm - misc - by human lava lamp (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13531) - you deserved it (32994)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

#20534501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10996) - you deserved it (33178)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:44am - work - by coffee - United States

Today, of the two IDs I possess, I handed the cop that pulled me over the fake one. FML

#20545967
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9755) - you deserved it (65393)

On 03/16/2013 at 10:58am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I figured I needed to clean my room. I ended up finding my $135 calculator that I'd accused my ex-boyfriend of selling for gas money. That's also the reason I dumped him. FML

#20539612
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9534) - you deserved it (69794)

On 03/11/2013 at 2:56pm - money - by supertango500 (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML

#20539190
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (46594)

On 03/11/2013 at 3:43am - misc - by PeeLeg (woman) -

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (68329)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: