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Saturday 2 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (11426)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (12311)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I bought a textbook for my college class. Not only is the £150 book only sold by our teacher, it turned out to be a piece of shit that he obviously wrote, printed, and stapled together at home. When I went to the faculty about it, I was told it's all perfectly legal, and to drop it. FML

#20535847
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (2618)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:44pm - money - by defrauded (woman) - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (5131)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (2046)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (3342)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (2669)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30867) - you deserved it (3252)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (3165)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (4429)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29902) - you deserved it (6152)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (9823)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)



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