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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25593) - you deserved it (9842)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (2130)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (3207)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (6839)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (4040)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could ogle her ass as she walked away. FML

#20518187
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (4269) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/22/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by hé merde - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was feeling generous, so I made my roommate's favorite meal for her when she got home. When she did return home, she flipped her shit for no reason, screaming that she would pee on everything I love. Considering our history, I'm going to start checking my things for urine. FML

#20522100
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/25/2013 at 7:44pm - misc - by sniperkit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (8971)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (3376)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24422) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

#20513495
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24403) - you deserved it (2182)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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