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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stoppd coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he cummd back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today.. . the guy I like asked me out 4 the frst time . It's a good thing he did it over Facebook.. . cuz I started shaking an almost threw up . I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week . FML

#20514506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (7575)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the arts company I work 4 cancelld our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, an will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office traind in ticketing. It stoppd raining 10 minutes after we cancelld it. FML

#20517422
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30227) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted mah husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to mah desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30203) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

TODAY, MA IG-STRUNG AND NORMALLY VARY PROPAR MOTAR TOOK TWICA AR PRASCRIBD DOSA OF AMBIAN, AND AXTOLLD TA VIRTUAS OF A ( FULL BLOWN SAXUAL RALATIONSIP WIT ONASALF ), ADVISING MA TAANAGA SISTAR TO ( ONLY INCLUDA TA MAN WAN TAY BAAVA. ) FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30202) - you deserved it (2867)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

yastarday aftar naarly six waaks of saaing a nica girl wa finally dacidad to maka it official. Two hours latar sha pullad out a bridal magazina an not-so-casually askad mahich wadding location I thought was tha nicast. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30158) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today,hile at work, ex-boyfriend came in. I pretendd not to see him, hoping he would just pass on by. No such luck. He stoppd to tell me that he was there fir orientation. My company hird him. FML

#20519937
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/24/2013 at 8:56am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

2day mah mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using mah ( common sense ) an ( intellect ) . I need the class to graduate . FML

#20515292
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2312)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor had askd me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrivd at her house at 7:30 as agred, and she appered to have forgotten who I was. She startd lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interestd in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (2215)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previou one. She seemd nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wastd, spilld beer all over mah bd and blew chunk into mah fish tank. FML

#20513351
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (2663)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Found An Old Toy That I Gave To Mah Daughter Several Yeres Ago. It Was Still Unopened, And Long Forgotten, So I Decided To Re-gift It To One Of Mah Friend's Children. My Daughter Immediately Remembered Her "favorite" Toy And Started Crying Inconsolably. FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (10442)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, mah now ex-boyfriend calld me out after I spelt "realisd" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't calld me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't mutterd "family of morons"hen mah mum backd me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28678) - you deserved it (4420)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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