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Thursday 21 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31162) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

#20512419
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (3419)

On 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm - work - by ari (woman) - United States

Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML

#20517777
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you deserved it (11015)

On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30505) - you deserved it (2984)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (7580)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, the arts company I work for cancelled our 8 pm sold-out outdoor performance at 7:30 due to rain, and will have to reticket 550 patrons. I'm the only person in the office trained in ticketing. It stopped raining 10 minutes after we cancelled it. FML

#20517422
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (2428)

On 02/22/2013 at 10:48am - work - by Wilf (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30266) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

#20517914
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (3507)

On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29937) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29882) - you deserved it (4301)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom refused to sign me up for a CPR class, reasoning that if I was ever put in a situation where a person was choking, I could save them using my "common sense" and "intellect". I need the class to graduate. FML

#20515292
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29801) - you deserved it (2314)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:32pm - misc - by blob - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29792) - you deserved it (2217)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (3937)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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