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Friday 15 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23528) - you deserved it (7741)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (15080)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a two dollar raise. Unfortunately, I recently accepted a transfer to a job on the other side of the state to what was, at the time, a more lucrative position. I can't cancel it, so now I get to move into a pay cut. FML

#20514453
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22615) - you deserved it (5646)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:33am - work - by MeanGina (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19309) - you deserved it (55092)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (46769)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (52301)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

#20517120
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17005) - you deserved it (52778)

On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (28256)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16421) - you deserved it (38692)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (32791)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (54809)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12976) - you deserved it (40716)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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