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Friday 15 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (2645)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

#20512675
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25262) - you deserved it (5756)

On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (7554)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML

#20506101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (10704)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
93 comments

Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML

#20517185
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24487) - you deserved it (7239)

On 02/22/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

#20503420
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (3825)

On 02/12/2013 at 8:18am - animals - by Stoopiddogbot (woman) - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24114) - you deserved it (1918)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (2759)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

#20501864
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (9497)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:19am - love - by mr_loveless (man) - United States

Today, I went back home after seeing the doctor, I told my boyfriend my new medicine might cause some mood swings. He immediately grabbed his phone and pretended to take a call, then rushed out. FML

#20516690
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:21pm - health - by NewDrugs (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (7672)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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