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Thursday 14 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast an there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away , mah mother yelled , "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for u muddafuckas to show up." FML

#20511941
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today , I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him my "boobies". A man cummed up to us and said I should do wat my nephew wanted. FML

Today,hile at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessd to bieng interestd in !! My mom decidd to shout, ( IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?! looool ) Embarrassd, I desperately told her to be quiet !! She groundd me fir bieng ( rude ) to her !! real FML

#20508609
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3422)

On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

yesterday mah son asked me if the short films I write r fir little kids or fir adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was fir adults. He looool went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35691) - you deserved it (4809)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, after being in the hospital fir 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, mah girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me an send me straight back home. real FML

#20511268
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm - love - by noname - United States (New York)

Taday I went to te market to buy some groceries. Before I got even alf-way ome, a guy stormd toward me, pulld wat lookd like a knife, an casd me around te block wile screaming tat e'd kill me for sleeping wit is wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin ere. FML

#20506765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (2232)

On 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, after more than a year of bieng single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, an looool after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even mah dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

2day ma mom callad ma a "aartlas bitc" fir aating ta last Hot Pockat . Tis is coming from a womano, just last waak, fakad aving cancar to gat out of a spaading tickat . FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (2193)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

Today, I saw my niegbor's delinquent kid sooting squirrels wit a BB gun. Sockd and furious at is cruel beavior, I told im to stop, wit te treat of telling is parents. He respondd by sooting me in te nuts and running away in a fit of laugter. big fat FML

#20507650
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34301) - you deserved it (10123)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I Met My Grlfriend's Parents For The Frst Time. As I Shook Her Father's Hand, He Squeezed With An Ungodly Amount Of Force, Leaned In With A Smile, And Murmured That My Balls Will Be The Next Thing He'll Crush If His Daughter Ever Complains About Me. FML

#20511181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (5293)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at church, I receivd a text from mah girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was mah phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside mah now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34094) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)



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