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June 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65367) - you deserved it (5291)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64066) - you deserved it (9321)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63611) - you deserved it (9056)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63197) - you deserved it (4929)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML

#21175587
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60160) - you deserved it (5714)

On 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59975) - you deserved it (4645)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59806) - you deserved it (3258)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59399) - you deserved it (7110)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59243) - you deserved it (8443)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58840) - you deserved it (4641)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

#21177000
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58809) - you deserved it (4151)

On 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by FirstDaddy (man) - United States (Michigan)



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