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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (10760)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40730) - you deserved it (6123)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40729) - you deserved it (5957)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (4571)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (5967)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40522) - you deserved it (3660)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (5829)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40395) - you deserved it (4396)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40360) - you deserved it (4327)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (2996)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML

#21079586
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (7076)

On 03/06/2014 at 11:24am - work - by workaholic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (4186)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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