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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

#21093159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (3796)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (3926)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (7688)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42001) - you deserved it (4557)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41994) - you deserved it (5111)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41965) - you deserved it (3913)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41959) - you deserved it (4076)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41924) - you deserved it (4560)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (3418)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (4477)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41470) - you deserved it (6025)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41424) - you deserved it (4659)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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