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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38771) - you deserved it (4231)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (4234)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

#21092834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (3107)

On 03/21/2014 at 5:44pm - health - by iusedprotectionanyway (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

#21093159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38605) - you deserved it (3485)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (7128)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

#21081494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (5674)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:43pm - misc - by shoopbadeewoop (man) -

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (3156)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38357) - you deserved it (4195)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38325) - you deserved it (10031)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (4750)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38277) - you deserved it (3129)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (5792)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)



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