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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

#21086140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm - love - by wabbyfish (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38323) - you deserved it (3167)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38319) - you deserved it (10030)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (5768)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (7036)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

#21080512
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38059) - you deserved it (3537)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (3095)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37840) - you deserved it (9983)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML

#21093159
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37803) - you deserved it (3395)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-month-old niece at the park, when a woman came up to me and said, "Don't worry, dear. You'll get your figure back soon." FML

#21098912
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37753) - you deserved it (4078)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:07pm - misc - by notamum (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a smurf. FML

#21076785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (3246)

On 03/03/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML



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