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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40135) - you deserved it (2990)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40071) - you deserved it (11114)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40042) - you deserved it (8186) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, every "entry level" job in my field is now requiring 2-5 years experience. I don't think they understand what "entry level" actually means. FML

#21078902
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40033) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/05/2014 at 4:37pm - work - by mr1234 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (34616)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (3926)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML

#21088136
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (6507)

On 03/16/2014 at 1:53pm - love - by cumbucket cops (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé and I told my future mother-in-law that we are expecting. Her response was, "Why are you doing this to me?" FML

#21078559
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (4335)

On 03/05/2014 at 5:15am - misc - by dyingangel246 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39720) - you deserved it (4267)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (4910)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39665) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

#21097210
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm - animals - by In urgent need of a new roommate - United States (Oregon)



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