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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40700) - you deserved it (3323)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40646) - you deserved it (19515)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

#21080535
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (3242)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Jehovah God (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (3946)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (6140)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (6111)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (4117)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (9347)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML

#21086220
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40340) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/14/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (3745)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

#21082304
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (2989)

On 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (11106)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)



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