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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44682) - you deserved it (4969)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44486) - you deserved it (4361)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44463) - you deserved it (6318)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (3173)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44332) - you deserved it (5146)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44311) - you deserved it (3872)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was fired over the phone, losing my only source of income. When asked if I was okay, I explained that although I understood why, I was a little peeved they'd chosen my birthday to deliver the message. My - now former - boss then sang "Happy Birthday" to me in its entirety. FML

#21090716
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44310) - you deserved it (4136)

On 03/19/2014 at 8:28am - work - by pale-suzie (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44292) - you deserved it (21179)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

#21095894
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44224) - you deserved it (5322)

On 03/25/2014 at 7:36am - misc - by disappointed - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44104) - you deserved it (7179)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43981) - you deserved it (8557)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (4073)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got billed for $80 of Justin Bieber music. It wouldn't have been so bad if it were my daughter who bought it all, instead of my husband. FML

#21096936
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43855) - you deserved it (4255)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by husbands addiction - United States (California)



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