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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42714) - you deserved it (5859)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42670) - you deserved it (4273)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

#21092507
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42562) - you deserved it (8503)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:09am - health - by SeriouslyMakeItStop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML

#21082683
189 comments

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (8262)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (3769)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML

#21078266
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42310) - you deserved it (6902)

On 03/04/2014 at 9:46pm - misc - by augiedd (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42256) - you deserved it (3446)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42132) - you deserved it (3025)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (7769)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (3724)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42036) - you deserved it (4264)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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