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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45513) - you deserved it (9799)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45381) - you deserved it (5177)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45261) - you deserved it (7366)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45196) - you deserved it (3952)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45083) - you deserved it (6454)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML

#21081103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44987) - you deserved it (13342)

On 03/08/2014 at 4:23am - love - by biwhat (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (3633)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

#21089901
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44916) - you deserved it (3767)

On 03/18/2014 at 10:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44913) - you deserved it (6503)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (3811)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (3564)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44630) - you deserved it (6448)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)



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