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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

#21089901
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46186) - you deserved it (3842)

On 03/18/2014 at 10:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46181) - you deserved it (5021)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML

#21074975
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (5260)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46067) - you deserved it (7467)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (6621)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, a woman attempted to pickpocket me while trying to educate me about God. FML

Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML

#21097979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (6544)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45890) - you deserved it (6552)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (24215)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45596) - you deserved it (6787)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

#21076752
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45576) - you deserved it (8136)

On 03/03/2014 at 10:55am - kids - by adopted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45567) - you deserved it (4238)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)



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