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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

#21083095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (5916)

On 03/10/2014 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37824) - you deserved it (6355)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that, after having moved over 500 miles to begin a post-graduate degree, I'm being kicked out of the house I'm renting. We haven't yet signed agreements. Apparently I "keep the kitchen too clean". FML

#21097212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37819) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - work - by homeless - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (4346)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML

#21078133
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37740) - you deserved it (2909)

On 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm - kids - by Drizztreri - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37729) - you deserved it (32620)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (10272)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37617) - you deserved it (5054)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (3325)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37534) - you deserved it (3026)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37416) - you deserved it (4623)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started at my new job. My manager, upon meeting me, hugged me and sniffed my neck, then commented that I smelled "natural" and told me how much he loves that. I have to work with this creep until god knows when. FML

#21081278
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (3501)

On 03/08/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by kittykat033 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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