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March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

#21083095
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (6322)

On 03/10/2014 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

#21076568
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40763) - you deserved it (4103)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:13am - love - by Chilly (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

#21083869
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40705) - you deserved it (10146)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:01am - work - by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40491) - you deserved it (5344)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40457) - you deserved it (5390)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (6701)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40422) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (4957)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40359) - you deserved it (11093)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (3556)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while searching a woman for contraband as part of my job, she kept making sexual noises throughout. After I finished, she hugged me and went on her way. I really need a new job. FML

#21099601
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (4573)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm - work - by ohdear. (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (5115)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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