Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

#21081418
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38692) - you deserved it (7151)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:06pm - animals - by chuchundra (woman) - United States

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend had broken up with me. She was more upset about it than I was. She actually almost cried. FML

#21076568
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (3908)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:13am - love - by Chilly (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38639) - you deserved it (3163)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (5698)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML

#21078067
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38176) - you deserved it (3983)

On 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm - kids - by meandme (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38155) - you deserved it (2923)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (3377)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought I'd finally finished the special project my boss gave me of changing the eligibility details on several hundred loans. My coworker later pointed out that the document was the same as it had been hours before, and that the changes I made hadn't saved at all. FML

#21079586
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (6729)

On 03/06/2014 at 11:24am - work - by workaholic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38024) - you deserved it (4866)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: