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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66341) - you deserved it (3592)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62614) - you deserved it (5165)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58439) - you deserved it (18351)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56220) - you deserved it (4776)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55738) - you deserved it (3443)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54871) - you deserved it (3496)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54038) - you deserved it (6482)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53869) - you deserved it (7104)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53641) - you deserved it (3382)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53117) - you deserved it (7918)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53057) - you deserved it (2979)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)



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