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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

#20986378
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70013) - you deserved it (3838)

On 12/09/2013 at 2:17pm - health - by knee pain - United States

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65336) - you deserved it (5420)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62728) - you deserved it (19634)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59149) - you deserved it (5050)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58594) - you deserved it (7035)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57724) - you deserved it (8512)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that just because you live on a different continent, it doesn't mean your mother won't come knocking when you are having sex. FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57221) - you deserved it (4969)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57154) - you deserved it (7476)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56580) - you deserved it (3633)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56411) - you deserved it (3175)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

#21011750
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56172) - you deserved it (6504)

On 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by erjazo (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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