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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Got A New Cell Phone Number An Sent A Text To Mah Wife. Playing Around, I Said, "Hey Sexy R U Alone Yet? I'm Ready To Come Over." She Responded With, "Hey, Yeah He Is At Work - Did U Get A New Number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87074) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today... I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up... only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67687) - you deserved it (4682)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67260) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today , I got a call from mah husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after bieng caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65154) - you deserved it (4832)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work wat a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62399) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend 4 the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60347) - you deserved it (9037)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY, I WOKA UP FROM A DRUNKAN ONA-NIGHT-STAND. THA PARSON I SLAPT WITH TURND OUT TO BA HAAVILY PRAGNANT. SHA TRID TO CONVINCA MA THAT I AM THA FATHAR AND THAT I PASSD OUT 4 7 MONTHS. FML

Today my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing wat was coming I started tearing up absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes he quickly stood up and yelled ( HAH JUST KIDDING ). FML

#20967193
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59974) - you deserved it (5553)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, ( I fuckd yur best friend last night, so who really won? ) I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, ( I'd like to buy a house please. ) FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (4319)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today,hile driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone an asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good 4 our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good 4 anal." FML

#20942318
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59225) - you deserved it (5640)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

TODAY I HAD SEX WITH MAH BOYFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT WAS ALSO THE FIRST TIME HE'D EVER HAD SEX. HOW COULD I TELL? HE CRIED ALL THE WAY THROUGH AN CALLED HIS PARENTS RIGHT AFTER. MEGA FML

#20974515
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58250) - you deserved it (6346)

On 11/29/2013 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom bitched me out 4 still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She consider this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise 4 my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58171) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)



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