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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86572) - you deserved it (6193)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I got knocked over at the park by a rampant dog. My fiancé stood by laughing his ass off as I repeatedly tried to stand up, only to be knocked back down again. I'm seven months pregnant. FML

#20943386
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67520) - you deserved it (4671)

On 11/03/2013 at 2:21am - love - by StrandedWhale (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67022) - you deserved it (5572)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62672) - you deserved it (4597)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62161) - you deserved it (4052)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

#20967193
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59823) - you deserved it (5547)

On 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59577) - you deserved it (4306)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

#20972385
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59322) - you deserved it (8931)

On 11/27/2013 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57971) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57791) - you deserved it (4098)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML



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