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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43764) - you deserved it (10678)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

#20947706
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43646) - you deserved it (8832)

On 11/06/2013 at 1:08pm - animals - by lbg2msf (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43586) - you deserved it (4372)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43565) - you deserved it (3182)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

#20965814
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43527) - you deserved it (2923)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:52pm - animals - by thatsnotacat - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

#20951236
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43483) - you deserved it (3571)

On 11/09/2013 at 9:15am - work - by fmylyfe (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (3974)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43342) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

#20955245
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (3493)

On 11/12/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by long day - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43052) - you deserved it (5838)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42858) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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