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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48640) - you deserved it (5727)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (7378)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML

#20964854
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (3125)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:53pm - health - by ChestExploding (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (5027)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (4478)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47977) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47946) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47716) - you deserved it (2767)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47680) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47678) - you deserved it (3693)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML

#20950736
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47471) - you deserved it (2542)

On 11/08/2013 at 8:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47411) - you deserved it (18902)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States



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