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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother was scolding my youngest sister for having unprotected sex with yet another partner. She continued with, "Why can't you be like your brother and just never have sex?" I'm 22, and she's not wrong. FML

#20952236
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45505) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by notgettinsome - Australia

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45222) - you deserved it (3735)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

#20951207
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (3219)

On 11/09/2013 at 8:20am - misc - by Falling off the wagon - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (4117)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45064) - you deserved it (3507)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

#20967683
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (5361)

On 11/23/2013 at 5:32am - love - by fecal romance (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a text message consisting solely of emoticons. FML

#20950012
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44945) - you deserved it (4205)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:30am - love - by probablydodgedabullet - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML

#20960004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/16/2013 at 4:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44686) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

#20966535
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44538) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/22/2013 at 1:20am - kids - by spooked (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (17987)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44345) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML



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