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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

#20950083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (5493)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:00am - intimacy - by xomelodygervais (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (45125)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

#20941762
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21430) - you deserved it (50275)

On 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm - health - by nl4 (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21161) - you deserved it (42715)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working all week on a group project, I realized I forgot to submit the assignment and missed the deadline. I now have to tell my group that we automatically failed. FML

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

#20942793
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (40243)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by FUCKING POWER - United States (Michigan)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, while feeling sick, I decided to go to a furniture store to sit down for a few minutes. I'm now the proud owner of an expensive, vomit-stained recliner. FML

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML

#20975509
100 comments

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (44606)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML

#20944930
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16156) - you deserved it (64806)

On 11/04/2013 at 6:39am - misc - by Anonymous -



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