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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML

#20958357
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (6337)

On 11/15/2013 at 2:05am - misc - by unproud (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

#20949952
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37376) - you deserved it (3296)

On 11/08/2013 at 2:49am - misc - by sammyducks227 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37338) - you deserved it (4874)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37330) - you deserved it (10635)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (3418)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37014) - you deserved it (3262)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36956) - you deserved it (4422)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36915) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36755) - you deserved it (7018)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (3222)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36585) - you deserved it (4366)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36578) - you deserved it (7166)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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