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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37042) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had the pleasure of driving in central London for the first time, to recover my drunk husband from his own brilliance, puking on the feet of Winston Churchill's statue in Parliament Square. At 4 am. FML

#20944193
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (3260)

On 11/03/2013 at 5:53pm - love - by I am not amused! (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36891) - you deserved it (4415)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (9152)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to storm out of the room during an argument, but walked face-first into our closed sliding glass door. My boyfriend laughed so hard that he had to sit down. Later, we noticed the nose mark I left. He won't let me clean it, because he wants to show it to everyone. FML

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36743) - you deserved it (3259)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (7009)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36517) - you deserved it (4362)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (7157)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36368) - you deserved it (2716)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (3311)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (19767)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



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