Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend brought a 12-pack of beer to my mother's wake. FML

#20958939
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34847) - you deserved it (3933)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by haqL (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34838) - you deserved it (9498)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

#20953149
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34823) - you deserved it (4314)

On 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm - work - by kittkatt1 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (8491)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met a fellow Star Wars fan. We began enthusiastically talking about how almost no one our age knows the good old classics anymore. I was referring to the original trilogy; she was talking about the ones with Jar Jar Binks. FML

#20965369
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (5492)

On 11/21/2013 at 1:00am - love - by StarWarsGeek (woman) - United States

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34585) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while refereeing a soccer game, I was accused of being racist, blind, and a fascist by spectators. The game was played by a group of third graders. FML

#20957478
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/14/2013 at 12:21pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

#20969310
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34494) - you deserved it (6646)

On 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34346) - you deserved it (6589)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34320) - you deserved it (2874)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

#20964867
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (6853)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: