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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42523) - you deserved it (43700)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (4660)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

#20951618
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42325) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/09/2013 at 3:41pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

#20967061
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42163) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/22/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42158) - you deserved it (2861)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (10263)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (5219)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML

#20972427
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (3935)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in my mouth. FML

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42032) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41971) - you deserved it (17616)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41607) - you deserved it (7719)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom



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