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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41804) - you deserved it (17566)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (3720)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41610) - you deserved it (8072)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41514) - you deserved it (7711)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (3774)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (3899)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (5181)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41269) - you deserved it (4442)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41206) - you deserved it (4543)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an interview scheduled for 10:05. When I got there, someone was talking to them, so I sat down to wait. Little did I know this wait would be 45 minutes. I got told to go home and that I'd be rescheduled. FML

#20963490
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41184) - you deserved it (3432)

On 11/19/2013 at 4:07pm - work - by innocent72 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41145) - you deserved it (2511)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML



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