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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41640) - you deserved it (7512)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (2722)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41603) - you deserved it (2857)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (5168)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I told my roommates they have to go get jobs, because I can't afford to support them or their bad habits any more. They responded by pawning all my DVDs for cash to buy cigarettes. FML

#20960170
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41528) - you deserved it (6507)

On 11/16/2013 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (17493)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (7683)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

#20941234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41341) - you deserved it (3684)

On 11/01/2013 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Champignon (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41274) - you deserved it (3753)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41215) - you deserved it (3883)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41200) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (5696)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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