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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43798) - you deserved it (3993)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

#20973400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43763) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/28/2013 at 6:41am - work - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

#20973886
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43753) - you deserved it (8063)

On 11/28/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by aaannnddd there goes my boner (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43676) - you deserved it (9745)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found myself admiring my eyelids for being the only parts of my face not covered in acne. FML

#20960938
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43670) - you deserved it (4068)

On 11/17/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have our first kiss with each other, but my dog decided to let one rip, stinking up the whole room. My boyfriend still doesn't believe it was my dog who did it. FML

#20960650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (3982)

On 11/17/2013 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

#20968220
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43505) - you deserved it (2931)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was quizzing a girl at my college, and I noticed that when she answered a question, her ears wiggled. It was cute, so I pointed it out. She burst into tears, and the guy next to me said, "Way to make her feel insecure, douchebag." FML

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (2687)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

#20957459
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you deserved it (4666)

On 11/14/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by CallmeEddie - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you deserved it (11300)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I was in a public restroom when my almost-2-year-old figured out how to open the door and run out. Half-a-dozen strangers watched me scramble to pull up my pants and moon everyone before running after her. FML

#20948920
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (4099)

On 11/07/2013 at 10:23am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland



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