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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68968) - you deserved it (3218)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68855) - you deserved it (9084)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63389) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61353) - you deserved it (14823)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60614) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59245) - you deserved it (3549)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58530) - you deserved it (5475)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58283) - you deserved it (3894)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57665) - you deserved it (5517)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57589) - you deserved it (3532)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57350) - you deserved it (4291)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)



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