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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML

#20897064
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43223) - you deserved it (4912)

On 09/26/2013 at 5:31pm - money - by cheese (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43131) - you deserved it (4083)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43000) - you deserved it (7003)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42920) - you deserved it (4039)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

#20889340
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (19143)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42782) - you deserved it (2584)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42735) - you deserved it (4561)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (4687)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42625) - you deserved it (3691)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42591) - you deserved it (8807)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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