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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML

Today, I was cutting a client's hair, and she was complaining about how itchy her head was from having it too long. As I lay down my comb and shears, three lice bugs ran across my counter. FML

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48266) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48130) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48116) - you deserved it (3810)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
170 comments

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47874) - you deserved it (7727)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47745) - you deserved it (2891)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

#20865414
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47723) - you deserved it (3627)

On 09/02/2013 at 11:03pm - work - by smurftastic (man) - United States (California)



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