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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML

#20901560
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44580) - you deserved it (3371)

On 09/30/2013 at 2:02am - work - by 3 More Months (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44540) - you deserved it (4911)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

#20891477
167 comments

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (7251)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, the guy I love asked me if hooking up counted as dating, because he thinks I'm "super hot," but he doesn't want "all the relationship shit." FML

#20874228
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44187) - you deserved it (4787)

On 09/09/2013 at 8:46am - love - by Renagirl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

#20878650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44164) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/12/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by WTF - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44115) - you deserved it (3426)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

#20872459
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (6480)

On 09/08/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44029) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43948) - you deserved it (5585)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (5332)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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