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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was complimented by a stranger, who said I looked great in my outfit. I thanked her, and she immediately gave me a fist-bump. I stared curiously, and she explained: she was arguing with her friends about whether I'm a man or a woman. The pitch of my voice was the answer. FML

#20881965
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (4253)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, I summoned the courage to talk to my friends about the money they owe me for my photography services at their wedding. We had agreed on a fair price, but now they're pissed, claiming that I'm being selfish and should consider it my wedding gift to them. FML

#20897064
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45779) - you deserved it (5187)

On 09/26/2013 at 5:31pm - money - by cheese (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

#20891546
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45663) - you deserved it (5769)

On 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm - work - by -_- (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

#20869864
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (2736)

On 09/06/2013 at 2:42am - love - by thissinglelife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (5040)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

#20871774
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45452) - you deserved it (3534)

On 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm - work - by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45441) - you deserved it (19319)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

#20892987
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45426) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm - misc - by poor teacher - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

#20897674
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45366) - you deserved it (2889)

On 09/27/2013 at 2:20am - love - by kitkat3308 - United States

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

#20879909
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45352) - you deserved it (5456)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my two closest friends declared that they hated each other. They're my bridesmaids. The wedding is in three weeks. FML

#20878136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (3668)

On 09/12/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by SadFace (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45087) - you deserved it (3982)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)



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