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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

#20870911
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50589) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50557) - you deserved it (3530)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50307) - you deserved it (3395)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50299) - you deserved it (3320)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (4982)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bumped into a really cute guy I know. I stuttered and floundered, before saying, "Hi, it's me, Megan Thomas." My surname isn't Thomas, but his is. FML

#20888741
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50149) - you deserved it (8991)

On 09/20/2013 at 7:23am - love - by hoolagirl4422 (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50071) - you deserved it (3224)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50033) - you deserved it (2791)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

#20892986
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50003) - you deserved it (6445)

On 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by User (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49962) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49502) - you deserved it (2984)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

#20873371
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49467) - you deserved it (4276)

On 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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