Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51078) - you deserved it (6183)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (4953)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50918) - you deserved it (7252)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

#20893179
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (3397)

On 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by friend loves a gay guy... - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50571) - you deserved it (5904)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML

#20870447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50460) - you deserved it (3948)

On 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm - health - by what's a rimjob between friends? (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50380) - you deserved it (6272)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50230) - you deserved it (5716)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

#20894419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50223) - you deserved it (4820)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm - intimacy - by Craigslist is Evil. - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50037) - you deserved it (33778)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "condoms are too expensive." FML

#20864490
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49735) - you deserved it (5681)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: