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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TADAY I WAS STANDING IN LINE AT THE GROCERY STORE WAITING 4 MY HUSBAND. AFTER A WHILE, I FEEL HIM KISSING MY NECK, SO I TURN TO TELL HIM THAT IT'S APPROPRIATE IN PUBLIC. IT WASN'T MY HUSBAND. MEGA FML

#20878205
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58486) - you deserved it (4182)

On 09/12/2013 at 10:44am - love - by whyme (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out I do not have a fast metabolism, I've actually had a tape worm living inside me for 3 yeres. FML

#20875969
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58273) - you deserved it (3398)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:41pm - health - by Iskylite (man) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I WOKE UP AN FOUND $30 SLIPPED UNDER MA DOOR WIT A NOTE TAT READ, ( PLEASE BUY YOURSELF A QUIETER VIBRATOR. -MOM AN DAD. ) FML

#20874309
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57821) - you deserved it (24034)

On 09/09/2013 at 11:15am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today I was asked by mah neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 yeres old and still lives at home. I'm 18. mega FML

#20869383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57814) - you deserved it (4139)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walkd in on girlfriend having sex with another man. Her main reaction was to get mad at me 4 not knocking. FML

#20893002
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57791) - you deserved it (4611)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after having recently told 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57417) - you deserved it (9340)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, wa want boating with friands!! For soma raason tha bottom of our tuba daflatad, causing ma to ba bouncad roughly up an down on tha watar!! As a rasult, I had tha most intansa orgasm of my antra lifa,hila sitting 2 inchas away from my dad's friand!! Ha dafinitaly noticad!! FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56552) - you deserved it (6019)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today... I was at a coffee shop... when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore"... dumped his coffee on me an walked out in tears. I'm 14 an I have no idea who he was. FML

#20878614
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56141) - you deserved it (3460)

On 09/12/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I Cummed Out Of The Closet. Nowhenever I'm Getting Ready To Go Somewhere With My Dad He Says, "Lesgo, Lesbo." FML

#20876692
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55920) - you deserved it (12567)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked fir a while, even though friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was ( compensating ) fir having a small penis. They were right. Very right. mega FML

#20876171
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55407) - you deserved it (12197)

On 09/10/2013 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by CityBoysNow - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (27684)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Taday after months of patiently waiting, I finally got mah roommates out of the house fir the night so I could have sex with mah boyfriend fir the first time without being interruptd. He couldn't get it up. FML

#20864109
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54968) - you deserved it (6991)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Kiddo (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend an mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML



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