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August 2013

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Today, my band informd ma that our gig this aftarnoon was actually a wadding !! Whosa wadding? My ax-wifa's, along with tha guy sha chaatd on ma with !! For thair first danca, I had to sing wat usd to ba our song !! FML

#20844435
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76010) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/19/2013 at 9:06am - love - by Love stinks (man) - United States

Today, I woka up to my girlfriand grinning at ma, har hand on my junk. I grinnd back, than lookd down an saw blood smaard all ovar har hand an my junk. Aftar I startd scraaming an crying, sha laughd an said it was faka blood. Sha racordd avarything.

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70222) - you deserved it (9278)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69780) - you deserved it (5994)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, mah sister announcd that she and her boyfriend r getting marrid . Her boyfriend is mah husband . We're not even legally divorcd yet . fat looool FML

#20857902
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66724) - you deserved it (4016)

On 08/28/2013 at 1:47pm - love - by still together (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having dinner with mah boyfriend's family, an he was saying how well his driving lessons r going . During this conversation his mum told him to ( stop blowing your own trumpet . ) He replied, ( If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna . ) His dad gave him a high-five . mega FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66315) - you deserved it (8437)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

yesterday my girlfriend was suspendd from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML

#20827542
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63416) - you deserved it (4717)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Slough)

today wile I was anging out wit a cute grl... I slapped er ass playfully. Se told me tat se was going to get me back. Se slapped my ass later tat nigt unexpectedly wile I was olding in a uge fart... looool It cummed out. real FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62914) - you deserved it (23058)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61270) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at Basic Training fir the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You r required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. fat FML

#20818422
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60952) - you deserved it (5981)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today , after giving me mah very first orgasm , mah boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about mah orgasm face. Apparently it remindd him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessd girl , and it really freakd him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60270) - you deserved it (7639)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" an I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship 4 over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59955) - you deserved it (6660)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son askd a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbd her with a fork. FML

#20829995
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59487) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today... mah husband beggd me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet... taking a crap. He trid to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59484) - you deserved it (6560)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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