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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

#20764172
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40340) - you deserved it (2584)

On 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm - misc - by suspicious (woman) - United States

Today, while wiping my ass, the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it, and I'm sure it will again. FML

#20790784
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (11035)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40190) - you deserved it (2693)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

#20765072
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (8536)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (13215)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40091) - you deserved it (23447)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39972) - you deserved it (10940)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39951) - you deserved it (5070)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39869) - you deserved it (5550)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39799) - you deserved it (7556)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39689) - you deserved it (6045)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39572) - you deserved it (3901)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States



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