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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after mowing my neighbor's lawn for 3 years for free without being asked to, he finally came out while I was in the middle of it. Expecting a "Thank you" or some cash, he instead said, "You missed a spot" and walked back inside. FML

Today, my manager made me remove an Eiffel Tower ornament from one of my displays. Not because it didn't look good or match the theme, but because it was "disrespectful" to have it out on the 4th of July. FML

#20763233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39569) - you deserved it (7537)

On 07/04/2013 at 9:13am - work - by unpatriotic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (6016)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39420) - you deserved it (2190)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my college English teacher told me if I wanted an explanation for my grade I would have to schedule a conference to come to her office. It's an online class. I took an online class because I can't come in. FML

#20774966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (3884)

On 07/10/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by myl1f3isfuct (woman) - United States

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

#20765072
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39337) - you deserved it (8395)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

#20789918
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (13694)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:41am - misc - by booger (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was removing large shrubs from a house. I heard my co-worker yell something, but I couldn't hear him, so I just pulled the stump out anyway. What I realized too late was that he was telling me that there was a swarm of bees living behind the stump. FML

#20794428
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (10627)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

#20801510
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (14238)

On 07/24/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38793) - you deserved it (12840)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

#20811311
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (4627)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by imagrouch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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